Posted by: Momma Sun | May 18, 2010

Where are you …. EMOTIONALLY?

Emotionally, I feel in a gutter. It all started Saturday at a birthday party, when I was ignored. This person is usually hot and cold towards me and I never know what it will be from one moment to the next. I have many times over looked how I was treated or found a different outlet to not have not have to deal with it. I have forgiven the person for rude comments or just making me feel horrible more times than I can count and they never even asked to be forgive.
This weekend has bother me more and more. I decided it was time to sit face to face and talk to this person. Over hearing what the person has to say – they don’t want to be there to talk because everything always turns up their fault when we do talk. WE HAVE NEVER SAT DOWN ONCE AND TALKED ABOUT OUR FEELINGS.
I don’t know what to do. We had a lesson on forgiveness during Youth. As I was teaching middle school girls about forgiveness and how to forgive those who have hurt us the most. The Lord laid it on my heart – have you really forgiven? I have said the prayer and told God I forgive the person…but I still ache when they do something. I still cry when I try to make sence of it all. I still get mad when I am ignored. I hurt when I am not heard. I let it consume me because no one understands where the person is coming from and can’t give me advice to how to fix it or even just not care anymore.
This person is someone I just can’t walk away from, they are family.
What do you do, expect the worst and when they are in a good mood – or speaking terms with you be suprise they are talking to you or do you expect good things and when you ae ignored and ttreated as the bad guy continue to feel hurt and bruised?
Emotionally, I am drained on the situation so drained that it is taking over other parts….thankfully I have learned how not to be an emotional eater – or at least I think…

literally losing (her mind) it!


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