So I didn’t realize I forgot about last week. I was busy being mommy. My eight year old’s mouse died and both boys got sick – so I was busy!…I can say that my drive thud has taken a decline….in the past two weeks,  I walked 28 miles….woot woot.
I am restarting the C25K – with Irene in the ocean, us with allergies still felt her here in FL. Seeing I still don’t know how to run ans breathe normally yet, I was going to try and run without being able to breathe. With all the extra walking and soon adding extra I need to remember that I need more than normal amount of water.
I need to buy a new scale, like I said before I threw mine out because of being obsessed with the number and destroyed myself with each step up. However,  I have been exercising more now and it seems my clothes are getting tight on me. My thought was instead if buying a scale I would take a smaller size jean and try them on every month until they fit but what is the point my normal clothes aren’t fitting…and really I don’t know why. It was suggested to me I am not getting enough calories in and that could be the problem. So I guess I am going to try to keep not of how many I have…..tomorrow I am going to take measurements because I have been told that maybe I am not losing in my belly but elsewhere…..who know.

And that is how the words fall….
Dana

So here’s the week 2….I walked over 7.4 miles this week. I’m very excited about that! I did jump on the scale since having the baby and I am a few pounds more than what I was at my 6 week checkup but I’m still below my highest point so I am happy and encouraged by that. I’ve been doing really good at drinking my water and also I’m eating breakfast – which this is the hardest thing for me.
A downer was I did find myself still going through drive thru more than I wanted to it was just a busy week…. but I know it’s all about planning and planning ahead and that’s really what I need to focus on I started 2 months ago doing the once a month cooking… now it’s just following through and planning exactly.
This morning I did start the couch to 5 k – it was hard, like I did horrible but I am proud of myself that I actually ran – I am not a runner and never did I ever want to be but I want to lose this weight and a lot of people I know who lost a lot of weight are runners now so I’m guessing running is really the only way to go…. and I’m excited I am going back to Zumba, I will be doing that 2 nights a week.

And that is how the words fall….
Dana

Unbathe, no make up and having my eight year old take it…lol…and I am not going to do it…say terrible things about myself. I have three babies ok not babies….an 8, 5 & 5month old. It is my pledge that if I dont want to hear them say negative things about themselves or others they wont hear their momma do it either. How can I look at them and say God made you (all of us) wonderful and yet pick on myself….so here it is….oh and dont mind the mess….

And that is how the words fall….
Dana

It has been a year. Really a year has gone by…. and I didn’t get far in this weight loss journey. There is no one to blame but myself. But I decided to forgive myself.Instead of focusing on myself, I focused on but was more important to me – my family. Everyday I have to remember I am just as important to my family as they are to me and if I am important to my family I have to be important to me. So here I jump on the saddle again a year later and an extra baby later. That’s right you heard an extra baby we had a baby within that last year. I have to say I was very proud of myself I only gained a few pounds throughout the pregnancy and by the time I have her in my arms and I weighed less than what I did prepregnancy.

So my goal now is to do couch to 5 k and I’m really excited but I’m not a runner….. so I’m a little nervous too. But here’s were you will be able to find it….. my journey.

I am breastfeeding so water is very important and that is still my goal lots and lots of water.

BUT goal one….post pictures of myself……(hitting the floor)

Can’t wait to get in the habit of reading ya’ll post again.

Pictures….goal one done!

or sit….

Sorry that it has been a few weeks since I have shown my face…or should I say my font!

I have been sitting on the edge. The edge of what, becoming a victim…and letting myself become that. A victim of my surroundings and not feeling in control. I teater back and forth if I should just fall or hold strong.

Besides being busy with my boys, I have held tight to my friends and my hubby…even of the don’t realize that if they walk away I might fall. Luckily, I have amazing friends that have grabbed me and in their own way let me know they aren’t going anywhere.

So keep me in check…holding on strong is at least working my muscles. It maybe tiring but I will push through it and make my way from the edge.

Isaiah 41:10……

Emotionally, I feel in a gutter. It all started Saturday at a birthday party, when I was ignored. This person is usually hot and cold towards me and I never know what it will be from one moment to the next. I have many times over looked how I was treated or found a different outlet to not have not have to deal with it. I have forgiven the person for rude comments or just making me feel horrible more times than I can count and they never even asked to be forgive.
This weekend has bother me more and more. I decided it was time to sit face to face and talk to this person. Over hearing what the person has to say – they don’t want to be there to talk because everything always turns up their fault when we do talk. WE HAVE NEVER SAT DOWN ONCE AND TALKED ABOUT OUR FEELINGS.
I don’t know what to do. We had a lesson on forgiveness during Youth. As I was teaching middle school girls about forgiveness and how to forgive those who have hurt us the most. The Lord laid it on my heart – have you really forgiven? I have said the prayer and told God I forgive the person…but I still ache when they do something. I still cry when I try to make sence of it all. I still get mad when I am ignored. I hurt when I am not heard. I let it consume me because no one understands where the person is coming from and can’t give me advice to how to fix it or even just not care anymore.
This person is someone I just can’t walk away from, they are family.
What do you do, expect the worst and when they are in a good mood – or speaking terms with you be suprise they are talking to you or do you expect good things and when you ae ignored and ttreated as the bad guy continue to feel hurt and bruised?
Emotionally, I am drained on the situation so drained that it is taking over other parts….thankfully I have learned how not to be an emotional eater – or at least I think…

literally losing (her mind) it!
Dana

So I didn’t make it to the gym everyday last week. But I did make it once and I did do something everyday that kept me moving.

Tuesday – Wii Active and Gym
Wednesday – Wii Active
Thursday – I walked around the track while my boys practice soccer
Friday – we spent 9 hours at Disney and that only means one thing – A BUTT LOAD of walking!!

That leaves me with Friday. I got in the car at the end of a very long day and notice that I had a rash around my legs. This wasn’t the first time I got it…the last time I got it was after a day of Disney. So I didn’t think about of it…the rash is actually non-medically called the “disney rash”. I looked it and thats the best I could cme up with.
Then comes Saturday and I see my mom, who panics a little and tells me I need to go to the doctor and get it checked out ASAP. Something you might not know about me is that when my mother panics, I panic. It was just me and her while I was growing up, I don’t think I have ever known someone that is so cool calm and collective when things happen. Which only leads to you don’t panic unless mom does. Of course, by the time I go and look who is open Saturday, there is no way we could get there in time. We decided to wait till Sunday.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all you wonderful moms….I woke up and got ready for the Urgent Care. We all go and sit and wait and they call me back. The doctor walks in and ….”You’ve been walking alot?” I nodded my head. “You have wahat we coined as the disney rash.” I knew it all along! Geez.
It happens to anyone, when walking for long amount of time AND in the heat. Your tiny blood vessels get overheated and burst. Only thing to do is rest and time….a cool rag can help, too.

This week…add another day into the gym! WATER!

No weight loss this week….fingers crossed for the next!

is the name of the game this week. I have been mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. As I mentioned last week, my mom was in the hospital. I didn’t deal with the emotional roller coaster that came with it. I just went along for the ride and then didn’t look back. I just finished this semester of school which was draining in itself. We are constantly on the go, dog training one day, school the next night, counseling youth another, soccer practice the following, soccer games the next…and then adding all the other stuff of daily in and outs. When you are not emotionally or mentally prepared, you fail yourself physically too.

But this is a new week. I have a new look out. I talked to a friend of mine, who has slowly lost weight over the last couple of months and she told me how the thing she does is makes the gym a priority. For me, the gym is an option, of course, I like going. BUT if something comes up I totally drop the gym for it. I am putting the gym on my calendar in my phone and if something comes up I will act like I have no choice but to go gym and nothing can take that time away. We pay money that isn’t an option to pay so I should think of the gym as not an option!

So here is my schedule:
Monday – Cardio/Stength (5:30) – Catch the Zumba class if still there..
Tuesday – Water Fitness (6:30)
Wednesday – (9:30) Water Fit and Catch the Zumba class right after
Thursday – Day Off
Friday -(6:00) Zumba
Saturday -Walking – my niece’s birthday will be at a park with a nature trail, I plan on taking the boys through the hike.
Sunday – Cardio/Strength – (2:00)

There’s my week…..

WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER – if I do nothing else this week, I plan on drinking water!

No weight loss, can’t say I am not suprise! This week will be much better!

I really am thankful for the comments on the last post. I figured I deserve and so do you a better picture. As I sat and thought about it, one came to mind…

My mom and me @ my 30th birthday!

Here, shows my fantastic fun side. I had a 80′s party for my 30th birthday which was last month. I don’t think I look like a ogre here…..and that makes me happy.

I totally abandon my weightloss agenda and this blog, why, to take care of everyone else, of course. I don’t know how not too, let me take that back, I do not want to not – ha, does that make sense. I have always taken care of others before myself, this is how I am programed. I started this blog to remind myself that to take care of other I need to take care of myself. See how far I got! I thought all weekend what I was going to post this Monday.
What was my ah-ha moment that reminded me that I need to get back into (at least) weekly blogs. My mom was in the hospital all last week. And all week I headed to the hospital to make sure she was ok. The emotional rollarcoaster that we were sent on this past week – did not help my eatting habits. I found myself at the end of the day knowing I hadn’t ate a thing. That isn’t healthy. I also had to miss a day of visiting with my mom cause I was sick in bed with a stomach virus. I was stressed and I didn’t exercise. I know that if I would of gone to the gym I would of been able to handle it better, but instead my body hurt and muscles ached.
So my HOLY CRAP moment, I was look through a friend photo album online and I came across a picture – I thought I had seen pictures that made me think, “geez, what the heck happen” but none made me think “HOLY CRAP!” and this one did. So since I didn’t take it and I don’t have to delete it off my camera – I am going to post it. I might stop breathing, but this is going to be my reminder that I NEVER want to take a picture and look like THIS again. It was almost two year ago and I haven’t gained much since then, THANK YOU LORD!

......sigh....

Of course, I could blame it on angle and this and that…but I see this picture and think HOLY CRAP, I look like a ogre next to my husband!

I need to find inspiration and not the negative thoughts that came to my mind when I saw this.

Here is to a new week and not taking pictures like tha anymore!

Hoping to keep Losing it…..
Dana